MUM comes into the living room in the middle of packing for her European trip.
MUM: I was on the phone to your Aunt Deb.
MARTA: How is she?
MUM: She’s fine. I’ve made some arrangements.
VERONICA: What arrangements?
MUM: For when I’m gone, your Aunt Deb said she’ll bring over some of Uncle Luke’s old work boots.
MARTA: What for?
MUM: Well, we’re going to put them out the front of the house.
VERONICA: Why?
MUM: So that it gives the impression a big man lives here.
Pause.
MARTA: Are you serious?
VERONICA: You’re kidding right?
MUM: No, a lot of people do that. I think–
MARTA: Mum, we’ve been fine all the other times you’ve gone away.
VERONICA: I cannot believe I had to hear that!
MUM: What?
VERONICA: You seriously think an old pair of boots is a security measure? Can I ask, what protection do you offer when you’re here? You’re a frail old lady!
MUM: Ok ok, point made.
VERONICA: I cannot believe that we actually had to hear that.
MARTA: I can’t believe that was an real conversation you had with someone.
VERONICA: Un-fucken-believable.
THE END.
Tags: Mum
Jesus, you are hilarious. Do you ever write fiction?
Currently in the works of writing a play.
But often events in my actual life make me wonder why I ever bother writing fiction at all!!!!!