Waiting to Vote

Two couples, who are old friends, stand inside a Grade 4 classroom as they wait to vote in the federal election.

MAN 1: This takes you back doesn’t it?

WOMAN 1: Did you go to this school?

MAN 1: No, I went somewhere else.

MAN 2: So why does it take you back?

MAN 1: Well being in a classroom, takes you back to the days when you had to go to school.

WOMAN 2: I hated school.

WOMAN 1: I didn’t much care for it either.

WOMAN 2: My classroom didn’t look like this.

MAN 2: I don’t think that’s what he meant.

WOMAN 2: I know that’s not what he meant, I know what he meant, but I’m just saying that upon observation, my classroom didn’t look like this.

WOMAN 1: No, mine didn’t either.  I don’t think I ever had a classroom that looked like this.

MAN 1: Mine didn’t have all this coloured paper to start with.

MAN 2: No.  I don’t know when they started bringing all that in.

WOMAN 2: Apparently the children learn better with it.

WOMAN 1: It’s probably to keep the children occupied while the teacher ducks out for a smoke.

WOMAN 2: You think so?

WOMAN 1: I wouldn’t be surprised.  You think she was really teaching when they were making that?

WOMAN 1 points to a pin board plastered with coloured paper displaying children’s names and personal statements.

MAN 1: What’s all that about do you reckon?

MAN 2: (reading off the board) “The Board of Respect”.

WOMAN 2: Oh I see, I think the children wrote down some things about what they should do to be nicer to each other.

WOMAN 1: (reading a card) “Respect for one another.”  Well that’s something you don’t see everyday, people respecting one another.  I agree with that child.  If we all respected one another we wouldn’t have all the trouble we’re having now on the streets.

MAN 2: Here here.

MAN 1: They have horrible handwriting these kids.

WOMAN 2: Yes, I know, I’m having trouble reading them all.

MAN 2: Wouldn’t have seen handwriting like that in any classroom I was in.

WOMAN 2: Yes they were pretty strict with that sort of thing.

MAN 1: (reading off another card) “Zero tolerance for bullies”.

Pause

MAN 2: Where’s that?

MAN 1: Right there.  The purple one.

WOMAN 1: Surely a teacher would have had a hand in that.

WOMAN 2: You think so?

WOMAN 1: Wouldn’t be surprised if she wrote it herself.

MAN 2: It’s a term that’s thrown about a lot, “zero tolerance.”  The kid probably picked it up from the T.V. or something.

MAN 1: What, watching cartoons?

WOMAN 2: Oh no, kids don’t watch cartoons anymore.

MAN 1: Of course they do.

WOMAN 2: No, not the ones that we’re used to.  They watch these violent Japanese ones now.

WOMAN 1: That’s cultural diversity for you.

Silence

WOMAN 1: I don’t see what’s so bad about bullies anyway.

MAN 2: Does them good doesn’t it?

WOMAN 2: I was bullied when I was in school.

WOMAN 1: Gave you a thicker skin didn’t it?

WOMAN 2: I suppose so.

WOMAN 1: Made you tougher.

WOMAN 2: I guess.

MAN 1: I think I was a bully.

WOMAN 1: No you weren’t.

MAN 1: How do you know?

WOMAN 1: Well, I don’t know because I wasn’t there, but I don’t think you would have been one.

MAN 1: Fair enough.

MAN 2: (to WOMAN 2) What were you bullied for?

WOMAN 2: Oh, the usual.  Looking awkward.  Freckles, gangly arms and red hair.

WOMAN 1: You’ll be voting for Gillard then?

MAN 1 and MAN 2 laugh.

WOMAN 2: I suppose that’s what everyone thinks.

MAN 2: Well there’s an incentive anyway.  Get your own back for the bad times.

WOMAN 2: Well I’d like to think that I’ve moved on.  Some major decisions don’t need to be influenced by minor past events.

MAN 1: Good on you love.

MAN 2: Important to make those changes in your life to move on.

WOMAN 1: Hmph, I suppose that’s true.  But she wouldn’t have had that gumption if she wasn’t bullied in the first place. (walks off to vote with MAN 1)

WOMAN 2: (quietly to MAN 2) Of course, there are some people who find it hard to move on at all.

MAN 2 giggles as they both walk off to vote.

END.

Graveyard Journey

CAST:

GIRL 1

GIRL 2

OLD MAN

AUNT MARGO

SIMON

AUNT ROSALIE

GARY

WIFE

Two Girls: GIRL ONE and GIRL TWO.  Both are of the same age (around 16-20). They’re in a park, sitting at a bench and table enjoying each other’s company and the picnic that they have packed.  An OLD MAN, who is a portly and kindly old man (in his 60s) is walking and admiring the scenery around him.  He is in a wonderful mood.  He has been travelling on the road for a while now and is appreciative of the fact that he now gets to stretch his legs and breath some fresh clean air.  He’s smiling and spots the girls.  He’s in the mood for a conversation.

OLD MAN: Not bad for the middle of winter, hey?

GIRL 1: (cheerfully) Not everyday you get to enjoy a picnic in the middle of the season.

GIRL 2: Still cold though.

GIRL 1: Yeah, but, it could be worse.  Least it’s not raining.

OLD MAN: Well, can’t complain with weather like this can you?   I know we need the rain and all, but strike me down if I don’t feel guilty for not enjoying the sun.

GIRL 1: Gotta enjoy things while they last.

OLD MAN: That’s true enough.

(There is an awkward pause as the man becomes lost in his thoughts.  The girls are unsure of whether to continue on with their picnic, because although the small talk between them has ended, the OLD MAN is still standing next to them.  It would be rude to continue eating under these circumstances.  Well, maybe not rude, but you would feel strange to eat and have a conversation with a stranger within earshot and not invite them to join.)

OLD MAN: I don’t usually come down here to these parts.  Well, it’s been a long time for me.  40 years it’s been.  I can’t really tell you why it is that I haven’t come down here in that time.  Could have been work, or trouble with the family.  These days I like to travel. I think of myself as a man of the world.  The war had a bit to do with that.  Seen me go to Indonesia, China and Hong Kong. Just got back from Nashville not long ago.  Well, a year ago.  But things have seen me go on a different journey.

(The sound of a phone begins to ring The OLD MAN seems to hear the ringing and is perturbed by it, yet the GIRLS do not respond to the noise.  They don’t go looking for the source or location of the sound.)

OLD MAN: It all started with the phone call.  My mother just   died not long ago you see, and the phone had been ringing off the hook.  Good friends of mine ringing to see if I was alright, if I had been eating properly, how I was holding up.  ‘I’m fine’ I kept telling them.  ‘There’s no problem with me.  It was a bit of a shock, but when it’s your time to go you just can’t do anything about it you see’.  So when the phone rang, you can imagine my surprise when I hear me nephew down the other end.

(Sound of the phone being picked up, the ringing stops, and the OLD MAN begins to talk to his nephew SIMON, although the girls can only hear the OLD MAN’s side of the conversation.)

OLD MAN: ‘Simon’, I said, ‘what are you doing calling?  I didn’t expect to hear from you! I’m sorry I wasn’t the one to break the news for you’.

SIMON: What news?

OLD MAN: My mum, Simon.  My mum’s dead.

(The GIRLS are struck by the news)

GIRL 1: I’m so sorry

GIRL 2: Did you want to sit down?

(The OLD MAN doesn’t hear them and continues his conversation with SIMON)

SIMON: Well that’s funny.

OLD MAN: Why’s that?

SIMON: My mum’s dying.

OLD MAN: Oh no, not Margo. No.  What’s wrong with her?

SIMON: Cancer.  They say she’s got 2 weeks to live.

OLD MAN: When did they say this?

SIMON: Around three days ago.

(AUNT MARGO appears in this conversation, however only the OLD MAN can hear her.)

SIMON: She wants to see you.  When’s the soonest you can come down?

OLD MAN: I don’t know Simon.  I have to bury Mumfirst, I don’t know how long that will take.

SIMON: Well, you’ll have to do it quick as you can, she hasn’t got long left with us.

AUNT MARGO: What happened?

SIMON: His mother died.

AUNT MARGO: His mother?  My sister?

SIMON: Well, if it’s his mother, mum, I believe it would be your sister.

AUNT MARGO: What of?

SIMON: Pardon?

AUNT MARGO: What of!  What did she die of?

SIMON: (back into the phone to OLD MAN) What did she die of?

OLD MAN: Who?

SIMON: Your mum.

OLD MAN: Cancer.

SIMON: (To AUNT MARGO) Cancer.

AUNT MARGO: Well tell him it was her time to go.  The old crow had it coming I’m the one who doesn’t have a choice in it.  He’s made his peace with her, he needs to come and make peace with mine.  It’s time.  Tell him it’s time.  And hurry up.

(Leaves)

SIMON: Did you hear that?

OLD MAN: Yes but—

SIMON: We’ll see you when you can get here.

OLD MAN: So there was nothing for it you see, I had to bury mum and rush on over to see Aunty Margo. But in the middle of the rush I thought ‘bugger the old bitch.’ She was a bitch to me and she was a bitch to mum.

GIRL 1: That’s a bit mean.  Is she sick?

GIRL 2: (quietly to GIRL 1) Who’s sick?

GIRL 1: I don’t know.  Margo?

OLD MAN: Doesn’t bother me, I’m sure she’ll still be there when I get there.

(pause)

Burying your family, it makes you think about your own life.  You look back on some memories that have stuck around with you and you begin to think of what you need, and what’s important.  I need to find my family.  I need to remember.  It’s getting harder with the days and years going past me.

(long pause as the OLD MAN looses himself in deep thought)

GIRL 2: Do you know anyone here? Is there anyone we can call for you?  You can borrow my phone.

OLD MAN: What?  Oh!  No love, thank you anyway, but me great nephew knows I’m on my way.  He’s a lawyer—very proud of him, got me out of a few pickles, love my firearms you see.  Legal firearms mind you, but if you have firearms, you’ve got to take them out and use them, no use sitting on your wall gathering dust.  Was going to take one of them out and use it on my ex son-in-law you see.  He bashed my daughter and my 3-month-old grandson within an inch of their life.

GIRL 1: 3 MONTHS OLD!

OLD MAN: Oh yes.  He was an evil bastard, and a slippery one too.  Would have got away with it too, if it wasn’t for my great- nephew, Frank.  Once he heard a whisper of what was going on, he drove straight to my daughter’s side, and fought for that bastard to be locked up. Also made sure that I got full custody of the child.  My daughter had a nervous break-down after the bashing you see, she needed to be taken care of, but she needed a hospital, we just couldn’t do anything for her then, she was too far gone— much better now, but at the time, she was just no good to anyone.  ‘Don’t worry’, I told her, ‘you take care of yourself, we’ve got the baby, and Frank’s here to make sure that bastard stay’s well away from us for good.  And mark my words Frank’ I told him, ‘mark my words, he comes anywhere near me, I’ll shoot him right between the eyes.’

GIRL 2: I don’t think anyone would blame you if you did.

OLD MAN: Frank said it wasn’t such a good idea.  I tend to agree with him.  Why waste good ammunition on trash like that?  He’s in jail now, and we won’t be hearing from him for a long time.

GIRL 1: So Frank lives here?

OLD MAN: Yes.  Well, not far from here anyway. This was on the way through to his place.  No, I came here because this is where many of my earliest memories come from.  This has become a graveyard journey of sorts you see.  When I buried my mother, I immediately thought of her parents, my grand-parents. She’s not resting anywhere near them.  She’s next to my dad, and that’s how she wanted it to be, but I’ve always thought well of my grandparents.  I went looking through the family photo album and realised that I just didn’t have one photo of them.  I thought to myself ‘how could that be?’ and I’m still wracking my brain trying to figure it out.  So I need to see Frank, because I think he might have them— the photos that is.  My Aunt Rosalie, Franks mother, you see, she kept all the sentimental things.  Which is funny, because she never struck me for a person who held onto things to well.

(AUNT ROSALIE enters and again the same thing happens as with AUNT MARGO and SIMON.  The OLD MAN can hear them, yet the girls can’t comprehend who he’s speaking to.)

AUNT ROSALIE: Come on in then, time for tea.

OLD MAN: She’d cook some of the best roasts you’ve ever had in your life.

AUNT ROSALIE: Did you hear me then?  Or do I need to repeat myself.

OLD MAN: She hated repeating herself you see. But she had no need to.  The smell alone was enough to get you running to the table before she called. I’d sit there stuffing my face.  One particular night, the roast was so good I had a second helping.

AUNT ROSALIE: You eat it slowly, now, you’ve got more work to do in the barns before bed.  The hay needs changing.

OLD MAN: It wasn’t a big farm, so the chores weren’t too labour intensive.  I was happy to do it.  I love animals, there’s no greater thing for a person to have in their life than a pet.  But when I had the second helping of that roast—

AUNT ROSALIE: Good news is, you won’t need to worry about Blackie’s pen tonight.

OLD MAN: Blackie was my lamb you see.  It wasn’t really my pet, but the wee thing took to me as if I were it’s own mother, and I loved it dearly.

GIRL 1: Oh no!

AUNT ROSALIE: What on earth are you crying for? You were happily chewing away a minute ago.  You’re doing the meat now favour, crying all over it.  It’s disrespectful to the beast.

OLD MAN: From that moment on, I made sure I wasn’t so attached to things.  Sentimental things, I suppose.  But it’s different now.

(beat)

I think Frankie has the photos, she would have left them to Frankie.  She died while I was away in Nashville, and nobody told me till I came back.  I don’t even know where she’s buried.  I’ll have to ask Frankie.  It would be good to get those photos and pay my respects.

GIRL 2: It’s a pretty emotional road trip. Don’t you find it depressing?  Visiting all these graveyards?

OLD MAN: My people decorate these graveyards.  They were some of the most influential people who founded this town.  It’s changed a lot since then.  I expected that, but I didn’t expect everything to change. I went to the visit my grandparent’s gravesite with my wife, she’s with me on this trip; ‘you need a second person on a journey like this’ she insisted.  I wouldn’t have minded going on my own, but what she says goes.

GIRL 1: Where is she?

OLD MAN: (not hearing the question) We went to see my grandparent’s plot, and if it wasn’t for the sheer fate of running into Gary there, I wouldn’t have known what was going on.

(GARY emerges, the same as the Aunts and SIMON, a figment of the OLD MAN’s memory, unseen and unheard by the girls)

GARY: It’s been a while mate, how are you?

OLD MAN: Gary! One of the last people I’d expect to see.  I thought you’d be long gone from here.  You dad your sights set beyond these shores.

GARY: Well, things don’t always work out the way we plan.

OLD MAN: True, true, too true.

GARY: Good thing you bumped into me here, though.  Lot of things have changed since you’ve been gone.  Wouldn’t be visiting any relatives here by any chance?

OLD MAN: I’m here to see my nan and pop.

GARY: Well, they’ve been moved.

OLD MAN: What do you mean they’ve been moved?

GIRL 2: Easy now.

OLD MAN: How can you move such a thing?

GIRL 1: Do you want a glass of water?

GIRL 2: I don’t think that’s going to do him any good.

GARY: Council thought it’d be a good idea.  Making way for the new folk to be buried. Don’t worry mate, you’re grandparent’s are still where you left them, but their tomb-stones are over there.

OLD MAN: Well, where do I go?  Do I stand where they’re buried, or do I lay the flowers where the rock is? This is ridiculous.

GARY: I know it’s hard, but we’ve all adjusted mate.

OLD MAN: They moved them.  They moved the stone from one end of the cemetery to the other.  Not even remotely near to where they used to be.  Now, I understand making room for the others who want to rest their bones near their home, but a little dignity.  We’ve all got to share this land.  I mean at the end of the day isn’t it what this is all about?

GIRL 1: So where did you lay them? Where did you put the flowers?

(The Old Man’s WIFE enters.  The Girls can both see and hear her.)

WIFE: There you are you old sod, I was wondering where you got to.

OLD MAN: The photo.  I need to have the photo.  I don’t even have a picture of them.

WIFE: It’s alright love, we’re going to see Frank remember?  Perhaps he will have something we can have.

(To the Girls)

I’m terribly sorry if he bothered you.

GIRL 1: Oh, that’s ok.

GIRL 2: t wasn’t a big deal.  He was interesting to talk to.

WIFE: Yes, tells a lot of stories this one.

OLD MAN: I don’t even have a picture.

GIRL 1: Is he going to be ok?  Do you need us to do anything for you?

WIFE: Oh no, love.  I think he’s been having a lot on his mind of late and just needed to get a few things off his chest.  It seems like you were good enough to listen.

OLD MAN: I need to be able to see them.

WIFE: And you will love.

(To Girls)

He has a bit of a nasty tumour in the head you see.  We found out not long ago, and he doesn’t have much time left.  The stress of it, and having family drop off here and there has been a bit much for him.

(To OLD MAN)

Alright love, back to the car, we’ve got a long way to go yet, and I’m driving.  No arguments.

(To Girls)

Thanks again girls.

GIRL 1: Don’t mention it.

GIRL 2: It was nothing.

OLD MAN: Good-bye.

END.