This is based on the day I experienced on the 29th of May, the day of The Emerging Writers’ Festival Zine Bus, where a group of amazing ZineSTARS boarded, decorated and travelled around the city on a double decker bus to sell their wares. The most memorable experience of the day were my conversations with the bus driver and his wife, whom I have affectionately named Mr and Mrs Drum. Thank you to all the wonderful people who took part on the day, to this bus driver and his wife, and to Tim, who allowed me to steal his idea for calling them Mr. and Mrs. Drum.
CAST:
MR. DRUM - the bus driver
MRS. DRUM – the bus drivers wife
ME – overseeing the zine bus
FINN – zine bus conductor
FOND OF YOU – Zine (played by Lucie and Stu)
MY TEA CUP IS SO DEEP – Zine (Played by Zelda)
TALES OF THE CROW AND THE BEAN – Zine (Played by Chole and Hannah)
EDDY BURGER - Zine (played by Eddy Burger)
TICK MY BOX – Zine (Played by Lady Betty)
DEATH OF A SCENESTER – Zine (played by Ali, Shalini, Meg and Kate)
LITTLE BLACK BOOKS – Zine (played by Emily Trown)
Special Guest appearances by Craig Schuftan, Sam Simmons, Sandra from the City of Yarra, and Ali Bowden (Director of Edinburgh UNESCO City of Literature Trust)
Set in The Carlton Library, Edinburgh Gardens, Lamington Drive and Federation Square
A giant, red, double decker bus, driven by MR. DRUM, parks itself in front of The Carlton Library and waits for its passengers to arrive. MR. DRUM opens the sliding door to let the air in. He’s tired and sulky, and would like nothing more than a cup of tea. His wife, MRS. DRUM, sits by the door.
MRS DRUM: So how long do you think this is going to take anyway?
MR DRUM: <takes out a piece of paper from his pocket> Well, it says here that they’re gonna need the bus for the entire day.
MRS DRUM: Yeah, alright, but what time can we leave?
MR DRUM: Well, I don’t know love. They’re going to need us for the day, which means we’ll have to stay till at least 5.
MRS DRUM: Yeah well, we’re going to need to be back at the depot by then. What do they need a double-decker bus for during the day anyway?
MR DRUM: It’s for a festival.
MRS DRUM: What sort of festival runs on a bus?
MR DRUM: Well, we’ll soon find out, won’t we!
MRS DRUM lets out a grunt, as she settles in her chai,r and waits for the passengers with MR DRUM. At that moment, ME enters through the doors.
ME: Good morning!
MR DRUM: Oh hello! Now, who might you be?
ME: I’m Veronica, I’m with the Emerging Writers’ Festival.
MR DRUM: <to MRS DRUM> See I told you.
MRS DRUM: The what festival?
ME: Oh! Hello, I didn’t see you there!
MR DRUM: Ah yes, this is the wife, she’ll be riding with us today.
MRS DRUM: I’m going to be a representative of the company today <lets out a dry and raspy laugh>.
ME: Ok! Well. Lovely to meet you. Here <reaches into her bag> have a badge.
ME gives both MR and MRS DRUM a badge inscribed with ‘zine bus’.
MRS DRUM: Oh thankyou.
FINN enters.
ME: Hello, how are you!
FINN: Yeah, good, tired. <to MR and MRS DRUM> Hello.
ME: <reaching into her bag> Here you go, have a badge. FINN’s our conductor.
MRS DRUM: Oh right?
FINN: Yeah, I’m gonna rally the troops, bring people in, have some fun.
MR DRUM: Sounds alright.
MRS DRUM: So what’s happening today?
Before ME can answer, the Zines start boarding the bus, one by one.
ME: Hi guys! How are you all? Here you go, have a badge. Now, I might put you here…
As ME helps the Zines settle in, MR and MRS DRUM observe them carefully. The Zines are colourful, cheerful and loud. They each take up a space on the bus and begin to decorate it. Paper, tape, zines, balloons, streamers and coloured twine begin to take over the interior of the bus. MR and MRS DRUM take in the transformation around them. FOND OF YOU take a seat across from MRS DRUM, and she eyes them off suspiciously. The take out their brightly coloured zine and begin to lay it out on the seat.
MRS DRUM: So what that you’ve got there then?
FOND OF YOU: It’s our zine.
MR DRUM: It’s their little magazine love.
MRS DRUM: Oh right. And what’s in it?
FOND OF YOU: Well, you can have a look at it if you want.
They hand MRS DRUM their zine to flip through as they continue setting up. MR DRUM peers over her shoulder to have a look.
MR DRUM: So, they’ve made all this themselves have they?
ME: Yes, they’ve all created and produced these zines themselves.
THE CROW AND THE BEAN and MY TEA CUP IS SO DEEP run past, giggling, and make their way to the back of the bus.
MR DRUM: Yeah right. And what’s in them?
ME: Anything they want. I’ll be right back, I just got to check on something in the library.
ME exits to leave MR and MRS DRUM with the zines. As they read the bus comes alive around them. Streamers and balloons fill the top deck, and zines attached to twine hang all along the bottom deck. As every minute passes, MR and MRS DRUM pluck a different zine from each stall to read over.
MRS DRUM: <to MR DRUM> This one here is pretty good!
MR DRUM does not hear MRS DRUM, as he is deeply absorbed in reading TICK MY BOX: “a zine about feminism, gender and radical love.
ME enters the bus and taps MR DRUM on the shoulder to let him know to drive to the next stop. The engine starts and music can be heard from the top deck, DEATH OF A SCENESTER are playing a record.
MRS DRUM: <to ME> So how long have these been around?
ME: Oh, for a while now.
MRS DRUM: Really! And where can you get them?
ME: Well, here, there and everywhere really. Oh, but you can go to a shop called The Sticky Institute. You know where the Degraves Subway is?
MRS DRUM: Really! They’re down there?
ME: They’re also on this bus if you want to take a look. They’re just upstairs.
MRS DRUM: Oh, no, I can’t go upstairs, me legs won’t carry me that far.
MR DRUM: Don’t worry love, I’ll bring you down some.
MRS DRUM: No, no, I like this lot right here <points to FOND OF YOU, who smile sheepishly.> How long have you lot been doing this for?
FOND OF YOU: Oh not for long. We’ve only really just moved here.
MRS DRUM: Well you’re very good.
THE CROW AND THE BEAN take a Polaroid during the conversation and hang the picture on the twine. As the bus moves from stop to stop the laughter and the activity gets louder and louder. As more and more people enter the bus to have a look around at each stop MR and MRS DRUM look through the Zines in awe.
Sandra from the City of Yarra pokes her head through the door.
SANDRA: Everything alright here?
MR DRUM: Well, yes! Couldn’t be better.
MRS DRUM: Here, have you seen these? They’re called zines.
SANDRA: Yes, well I’ve heard about them, but I haven’t really seen them.
MRS DRUM: You really should take a look.
SANDRA: Oh, I will, I just want to take a couple of picture.
FINN: There are some upstairs if you want to take a look.
MR DRUM: Oh yeah, some brilliant stuff upstairs.
FINN and SANDRA move to the top deck.
ME passes by MR DRUM to get ready for the last stop, he grabs her arm.
MR DRUM: I just have to tell you something.
ME: Yeah sure, what’s up.
MR DRUM: You have some really talented people on this bus.
ME: Yeah I know, they’re amazing aren’t they?
MR DRUM: No, I don’t think you understand. I have never seen anything like this in my life. Now, I’m not really all in the know when it comes to art, but I know talent when I see it, and believe me, I’ve been here long enough to know what’s good and what’s crap, and there’s not one thing on this bus that I would say is crap.
ME: I’m glad you think so! Are you enjoying the day so far?
MR DRUM: I’m loving it. Driving you mob around is an absolute honour. You’ve been my favourite lot ever.
ME: I’m so happy to hear that, thank you!
MR DRUM: Oo! Watch out there, you’ve got more coming on.
Craig Schuftan, and Sam Simmons make their way through the bus and take a seat on the top deck.
ME: Oh that’s Craig with his friend. Craig will be launching his zine at Federation Square.
MR DRUM: Well, if it’s as good as the others we have here, then I’m happy to drive him.
With that the bus heads on to its final destination. When it arrives at Fed Square, the Zines gather their belongings and head into the Atrium to set up their Zine Fair. Bit by bit the bus begins to loose its colour. The twine is pulled down, the streamers removed, the balloons taken away and the music is turned off. The Zines move to the market and MRS DRUM follows behind them, not wanting the magic to leave her just yet. MR DRUM is left to mind the bus on his own. He sits at the drivers seat and mulls over the events of the day. While he’s in his thought, ALI BOWDEN pops her head through the door.
ALI: Oh! Is this the Zine Bus?
MR DRUM: Well, it was love. They’re all at the market now in Fed Square.
ALI: I see. But they’ve been on this bus all day?
MR DRUM: Yes yes, we’ve been driving them around.
ALI: How do you think it went?
MR DRUM: Honestly? It was one of the best mob I’ve ever driven around.
ALI: Really! Well, I’ll have to go down and check out these zines myself. Never seen one before.
MR DRUM: What! You’ve never seen a zine? How could you not have come across one?
And with that MR DRUM begins a mini lecture to Ali Bowden about what a zine is, and she is only able to break away when MRS DRUM returns to take a seat back on the bus.
MR DRUM: How are we?
MRS DRUM: Yes, well, we’re all right.
MR DRUM: Ready to go home then?
MRS DRUM: <letting out a sigh> Yes, well, I suppose we should head off then.
MR DRUM starts the engine and pulls away. MRS DRUM stares out the window, looking at the zine fair moving farther and farther away from her.
THE END
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